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Now, they find understanding in a discussion group called “Poly High Tea”, which meets monthly under the auspices of Experience Ananda, a studio in New Haven founded by Amanda Ananda.

Duncan said that polyamory also comes with “rejecting ‘The One’ rhetoric, the idea that there is this one perfect person for you.” Instead, it has allowed them not to rely on one person as their sole source of fulfilment, which has been liberating.

Simon points out that modern culture has made us accustomed to the language of the “OTP,” or “one true pairing.” Simon believes that this emphasis on monogamy stems from the institution of marriage.

To Duncan, polyamory is most liberating in how it rewrites well-worn scripts of dating and romance.

Duncan explained that polyamory can be interpreted in a plethora of ways, and every individual should find what suits them best.

I think it’s an important phase of relationships that we haven’t been taught to navigate in a healthy way,” Ananda said.

Ananda conducts poly workshops at her studio which she calls “Blissful Transitions in Conscious Relationships”.

He explained that in most mammals, the female has a substantially greater initial investment in her offspring due to lactation and pregnancy.

From an evolutionary perspective, this may set the stage for different behaviors in males and females, he said.

Duncan* ’19, who uses they/them pronouns, frames polyamory as an experience of intimacy in all its forms, from intimate friendships to romance.

Yet, in our discourses of romance, a form of amorous relationship is forgotten: polyamory.

Through these workshops, she helps her clients gain clarity about who they are, what they want, and what they want to create in polyamorous dynamics.