You will find the perfect person who loves you as much as you love him, and you'll look back on this and laugh." While I couldn't understand then that you need to love someone who loves you back, I get it now. My grandparents died before I was born and my parents are deceased and never liked anyone I dated, really. Don't marry anyone who won't help with the cat litter box when you are away, busy or when you are sick.Twenty years, three children and a dog later, I'm still married to the man who loved me back. The couple who served as my polestars for love shared litter box tasks (and everything else).She's talking about her experience as a single woman artist nearing 50, but it's a great reminder for all of us, no matter our relationship status or age.
And yet the only thing that's changed is the relationship you have with yourself. In television and film, the primary conversations that woman have revolve around men, dating men or how to better date men. Millions to billions of dollars are spent on how to sell a costumer something they don't need to buy, or portray an image they don't necessarily want to subscribe to.I have been wracking my brain about this idea of "Mr. One thing that has been on my mind lately is the way media, television and film portray women. Male characters' conversations are often about catching bad guys. When I was a young person and having a hard time dating, my mother would say, "You have to kiss a lot of frogs in order to find your Prince." I have come to a point in my life where I realize that she was right, but, as corny as it may sound, the Prince is me.Most of us, at some point in our lives, have heard a great piece of advice about love.Perhaps it's something from your mother or father, a grandparent, a mentor, a friend, something you've read -- a piece of advice that has stayed with you and has helped you in finding love, understanding love or staying in love.Even so, the advice has stuck in my head all these years, and I still recite it to single friends who seem to have trouble making romantic relationships stick.
The point is not that you should act arrogantly or as if entitled, but that, if you act as if you have value in the world, others are more likely to treat you that way.Sobbing on my bedroom floor, my mother, who was, and still is, head-over-heels in love with the same man for 51 years, sat down next to me, put her arm around me and said, "There are a lot of fish in the sea." I clearly remember wailing, "But, I want this one." She said, "All things happen for a reason.I think the 13th Century Persian Poet Rumi sums up love so eloquently.He wrote: 'Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.' The way I interpret this that when it comes to love, you can't give or receive love unless you love and respect yourself.In the hetero world, this means letting the guy pursue you.