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When some people write about singleness, it sounds like they're codependent on an imaginary person.I read stories of longing and waiting and tears and I just don't relate.When I wake up in the morning, stretch luxuriously, rummage through the open and still unpacked suitcase on my floor from my trip last week, and put on the clothes I find there, I'm not doing anything differently than I would if I were married. I would still spend hours planning outfits for a trip and when I came home, I would leave my suitcase out, open, as a monument to my adventures. More than people asking me why I'm not married yet, I am tired of the assumption that I am not a whole person.I wouldn't stop doing those things if I were partnered up. I'm tired of people saying, "Oh, it will happen to you someday, and you will meet your other half and you'll understand." I don't believe in magical solutions to anything or from anyone. Not even Jesus shows up to fix everything about my life; He sent me the odd, mysterious, whispering Spirit.I don't feel like half a person because I'm single.
I only feel like that when my society, my Church, or groups of people who cannot see beyond their own coupled lives, push that half-hearted position on me.They have good seasons and bad, close times and detached days, intense stretches of turbulence and placid waters.The inside stuff of our lives is the same, whether we’re married or dating or single.I only experience that when I read another Christian book about marriage that talks it up in glorious grandeur for two hundred pages, then adds "but being single is better because, as the Apostle Paul says, you can do more ministry as a single person!" I only feel like a footnote when people make my life a theological footnote.I think I can say all that with the hope of not belittling anyone's relationship experience.