Reflecting on these experience I felt a bit perplexed, so I typed “Indian Men” into Google.Up popped a couple of sites linking me to “Hot Men” lists, and of course the obligatory dating site where I could find Indian men.As I am traveling, I most often come across the average man on the street, like the stall owner or rickshaw driver.
I think it is easy to blame the mother for men’s shortcomings, but there seems to be a contradiction between this argument and the first article on the level of violence towards women.
I am not a psychologist, and perhaps there is a link here but I can’t see it.
One commentator in the article argues that the separation of males and females contributes to sexual violence, as women are viewed only as sexual objects.
I am not sure about this as in western societies, where there is no such delineation, women are also viewed as sexual objects and sexual violence still occurs.
In my opinion, if they had to go out and attract a woman entirely on their own (and assuming she had unfettered free will and choice in the matter), they would be less likely to indulge in these behaviours. In years past I have come to India for work, and in my current stay in Delhi I am living with family and am privy to another side of India.
Whilst the professional men that I have met don’t have the more distasteful personal habits, I do still find them very difficult to understand.
Also it is unclear to me if the separation of men and women (for example in the trains) is a reaction to the violence or the cause.
Feeling a little uneasy, I continue on with my internet research and find this blog on Reasons to Marry an Indian Man.
This denigrates the Indian man into something only marginally short of a sloth and depresses me even further. Then this one in Tehelka that essentially blames parenting styles, and mothers in particular, for molly-coddling their sons.
I have to say, I have seen many examples of this and it really does exist however it is not limited to Indian men, with many western men also relying on their mothers to look after them into adulthood.
Whilst he was hardworking and I believe his intentions are good, some of the personal habits I observed left a lot to be desired.