Dating after divorce with a baby

"I just like sleeping more." You're tired, you're covered in slobber, and your spouse has suddenly transformed from Sexy Stud to Superparent. Sure, people joke about making dates for sex, but "remember, when you were dating, you did plan when you were going to have sex.

Of course you're in love, you're just not in the mood for getting naked under the covers. You got ready for a night out and thought about it beforehand."Just because you're married doesn't mean you can't make a hot date. As for increasing the frequency of sex on nondate nights, experienced parents recommend making sure your bedroom is baby-free at bedtime. Whether you've been a couple for years or just met and wanted to have a baby quickly, jumping from a twosome to a family is challenging.

"Women tend to think if they say what needs to be taken care of, the other person will volunteer to do it. It's nice to think you'd share child-rearing philosophies, but it's often hard to predict how you'll feel about sleep, food, and discipline until you're smack in the middle of your fourth night up with baby.But men often respond better to direct requests." Also, thank your guy after he's successfully completed a task. This is not the ideal time to discover that while you favor a sleep-training method that lets your child cry, your spouse really can't deal with tears for any amount of time.On more serious issues, such as sleeping or feeding, there are ways to compromise, too.For certain things—such as when to start solids—you need to follow set guidelines.Talk to your pediatrician about what's recommended. sleep training), look at parenting books and articles together that support the different sides. I know one mother, for instance, who actually slept at a friend's house for a week while her husband sleep-trained their 8-month-old son.

After reading about the Ferber method, she agreed it was a good idea, but she still didn't want to listen to her son cry.

How had I failed to notice that he didn't know how to make a bed?

Or that he was such a Nervous Nellie he would have to line the floor with pillows before he'd lie on the couch with the baby?

"Tim is just much more laid-back than I am," says Tina."He gets on the floor and plays wherever our son happens to be, even if it means overturning the laundry basket. I'd come home to see Jake sleeping in the middle of a circle of toys on the living room floor at dinnertime!

"Tina, meanwhile, wanted to set up play stations rather than have toys strewn around the house, as well as make sure things were put back where they belonged to get Jake in the right habit. "We were resentful and snapping at each other all the time," she says.

And we both worked a lot and went to the gym on our own.