No one would say that they set out to get into a relationship with an insecure man. In fact, an insecure man can be especially tempting to you, particularly if your last relationship was with a narcissistic man who was all about himself and not so interested in you, or a predatory man who was happy to let you support him.Viewed through the eyes of a woman who has been burned in a one of these relationships, an insecure man may seem sensitive and interested in you.
: Grace quickly saw that Adam was someone who was easily deflated.
He was quick to make self-deprecating remarks like, "That was pretty stupid," or even, "What a loser!
Grace had unwittingly let herself become hopelessly entangled in Adam's insecurity and the distorted perceptions it created.
It wasn't as if she'd set out to bring out the worst in this insecure man.
Why Insecurity Can Be Appealing When she first met Adam, Grace thought that he was just shy and quiet.
She had no idea that what she was seeing was severe insecurity.
In that case, the thing to avoid doing is making that insecurity worse. Grace did what many women in her situation do: she tried to quell Adam's insecurity by continually reassuring him, and also by changing her lifestyle to accommodate his insecurity.
In doing so she was unconsciously taking responsibility for Adam's insecurity.
" Grace started responding to such comments by pointing out to Adam that he had a college degree and a good job, or just saying that it wasn't true.
: Once Grace got hooked into a relationship with Adam, he quickly became more or less glued to her at the hip. He didn't even like it when she was in a different room in the apartment they shared, and would come and sit beside her.
On the contrary, her sole motivation had been to try to keep the peace.