So do about a billion other people, and they're all on hook-up apps. Here, a quick breakdown of what to expect on these hook-up apps, should you have completely avoided them all thus far. It is: The most notorious hook-up app, especially among the younger folks. The catch: The Mile High Club isn't really a thing.Swipe right on a profile photo you like, hope they swipe right too. Who you want to find: A beautiful stranger who's down. Who you want to find: An exotic adventurer on their way to hike the Chilean Andes. Who you want to find: A put-together man who wants a drink and a fuck.
It is: An app that admits ambitious, successful users only after an extensive screening period. Who you actually find: An Ivy League banker who uses the word "handouts" unironically.
It is: Essentially Tinder, but women make the rules and determine if contact will be made. Who you want to find: A young, fun professional with an adventurous spirit.
Postings such as: "I want a man who can look after me and knows how to treat a woman. I'm surprised and unsettled by the forward tone of some of the material. Determined to avoid the connotations, I reply: "The Beatles." I never hear from her again.
One woman sends me a message heavily laden with sexual innuendo and I come to regard her as the mistress of the single entendre. Another woman's first contact with me included a plan for a day out together, including visits to art galleries, a stroll round a park and then "a few hours under the duvet". I'm later propositioned by someone who tells me she has an hourglass figure.
But in the modern world, in which the internet has become a vehicle for all manner of impropriety, she regards this kind of behaviour as perfectly acceptable.
We have encountered one another via an internet dating service established for the sole purpose of enabling married people to commit adultery.
Who you want to find: A one-night stand who supplies the Dom Perignon and cashmere blankets.
Who you actually find: A one-night stand who is already bored with you.
After a quick search, I get the measure of the women on the site.
"My preference is for a man who is much younger than me with rugged features," says one. This is a way of paying someone a compliment without typing out the words. And over the course of a week I get almost 100 replies, messages and propositions.
It may sound like an unpleasant niche website for a handful of amoral people to whom wedding vows never meant very much.