I received a compelling email from a senior in high school and I would love to get your help answering it.It’s such a sincere, honest email with such heartfelt questions about an important topic. Here’s the email (with her name changed and any identifying facts removed): Hi Gabrielle, My name is Lisa and I’m a senior in high school living in a medium-size city in Utah (I’ll be heading to BYU in the fall). I’m emailing you for advice among all people in the world because a) you’re a mom b) you’re LDS, and c) I like what you have to say especially about tricky topics like this. Today I was talking to my college age sister about a terrible law of chastity lesson I had in seminary and explained my frustration about how Mormons have such an unhealthy way about discussing sex.From their point of view, they may feel like you don’t want to talk about it and that they are doing you a favor by not bringing it up.
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The same thing is true for so many of life’s experiences, so it’s not just a sex thing.
Just know that no matter how much you know ahead of time, there will still be plenty of things to learn even after you start having sex.
Not only does it create trust between you and your kids but it prepares them to be functional teens and adults.
I know this probably isn’t the kind of email you want to read but I thought that you could answer it with keen insight.
The experience of sex is so personal, and everyone you talk to will have experienced sex differently in small or big ways. Here are some things from my own experience with sex that might help. From your letter, I get the idea you’re looking for real advice, more than just a reassurance that sex is good.
My apologies in advance if this is too deep a dive.
Also, you didn’t mention same sex attraction, so I’m going to assume you are talking about sex between women and men: 1) You can read all about sex, and have lots of conversations, and feel like an expert.
But until you’re actually having sex on a regular basis, a lot of what you learn or hear won’t really be helpful or make sense.
Like my dad learns current songs on the guitar and my mom is obsessed with current fashion designers. I know that they like the idea that their kids could come to them with any questions, but I know that they would probably feel uncomfortable talking to me about sex.