Listening to a group of women who are active daters talk will often reveal the effort that is involved simply in terms of improving physical appearance.Then there is the financial cost of that undertaking - gym memberships, clothing, salon visits, teeth whitening, cosmetics and wonder creams are not cheap.
When I ask them why, I often hear something like, "if I don't have sex with him, he'll find someone else who can." These women don't necessarily want to have sex, they just don't want to be single again or they want to have a little more time to see if he's a keeper.And these days, it seems that the ‘sex' date is number two or three - a far cry from the courting days of 1900 when one used only a finely tuned wit to woo.Some do mention sex, but usually it follows from falling in love.Basically, these women want to live the plot of any romantic comedy movie or romance novel (and yes, I will eventually blog about my experience working with a romance novel publisher, just wait).To win these few good men, they have to improve themselves and compete with other women who are trying to get the same guy.
And, because there are only a few good ones out there (at least in their eyes) they don't want to be overly demanding.
Second, many complain about meeting men who only want sex; some of these men pretend to want a relationship, but ultimately it's a deception.
In general, there seems to be a perception that there are only a few good men out there left.
Many women also feel unsure how to ‘be' when dating - what personality characteristics should they display and hide? Is it ok to be intelligent, or does playing dumb improve one's chances?
Should they be honest about their profession if it's one that is high in status, given that it might mean they are too competitive or challenging?
Overall, then, there is a perception that there aren't many good men out there, and if a woman finds one, she doesn't want to place many demands on him because it might scare him off.